Longtime HGTV designer Hilary Farr doesn’t shy away from difficult clients. Instead, she steps right into dysfunctional homes that challenge the relationships and emotional well-being of their dwellers. From redecorating a boring space for indecisive homeowners to planning major renovations for strained couples, she powers through the tough stuff on HGTV’s Tough Love With Hilary Farr. Ahead: her best tips for couples navigating challenging home renovations.
1. Resolve Budget Conflicts First
The best kitchens almost always require homeowners to compromise on design and budget. “Money conflicts are very common among all couples I work with,” says Hilary. “I share my opinion pretty quickly when I realize that one partner wants a giant fridge and the other partner wants a practical investment.”
2. Find Middle Ground
Embracing a new design style while creating a home with your partner is difficult. “It can be polarizing,” says Hilary. “I usually ask a couple to look at design sites separately to flag what they like, then [compare] to see where they’re on the same page. It’s a good way to help them find middle ground, and middle ground is everything. It’s the beginning of a conversation on how to open up your mind.”
3. Embrace Mixing Styles
Sometimes finding a middle ground might mean mixing styles. If one partner prefers traditional design and the other likes modern, there’s no law that says you can’t embrace both. “Choose the modern pendants,” says Hilary. “You can still use traditional finishes in other ways throughout the space to make both partners happy in a cohesive way.”
4. Make the Bedroom Your Sanctuary
Design a bedroom with a relaxing ambiance — a space both you and your partner feel comfortable in. Hilary recommends concealing the television and keeping computers away. “If you need to have your home office in your bedroom, find a decorative [privacy] screen,” says Hilary.
5. Create Functional Storage
When one partner is messier than the other, accessible storage makes keeping a space tidy easier. In this entryway from Tough Love Season 2, Hilary and her design team made the most of the area beneath a staircase. Hooks on the wall are perfect for jackets and bags, while baskets nestled beneath a bench hide keys, mail and general clutter. Hidden doors conceal a closet with hangers.
6. Don’t Ignore Your Dining Room
A formal dining room doesn’t need to be formal. Couples who enjoy hosting friends and family will appreciate a dedicated dining area just as much as their welcoming, open-concept kitchen. Plus, a large dining room table can be a great place to work during the day if you need a change in scenery from your home office or some separation from your partner during office hours — just remember to put the computer away at the end of the day.
7. Visualize What Your Space Can Become
According to Hilary, “There’s usually conflict when one half of the couple has a better sense of design and the ability to visualize changes in the space. If the other partner doesn’t share that vision, it can be hard to sell an idea.” Understanding these differences and talking them through can help both sides become more empathetic. In this remodeled kitchen, wooden accents add warmth while white cabinets and countertops brighten the room.
8. Disguise Your Home Office So Work Isn’t Looming
Finding a dedicated office space in a small home requires creativity. “Consider what your home office constitutes,” challenges Hilary. “Do you need a printer? Two screens? Find a surface that isn’t the kitchen table or countertop. You need to be able to tuck it out of sight so it’s out of mind.”
9. Create a Special Space for Your Children
Choose safe furnishings that suit the age of your child and a color palette that’ll make them squeal with delight. Decorate to your audience while being mindful of their desire to play. Giving kids a pleasant space of their own allows for needed alone time for everyone in the family.
10. Find a Color Balance
Hilary describes a couple she worked with in Season 2 of Tough Love, recalling that one spouse hated white, black and other neutrals, but favored bold colors like teal and orange. “The home itself was a nightmare, and their resistance to neutrals made it more challenging,” said Hilary. The design team appeased the styles of both homeowners by balancing neutral walls with stylish bold furnishings throughout.
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