A new survey from Kiddie Academy, an educational child care center, found that when all members of the family are polled, 63 percent say it’s Mom who has the hardest time with the first day of school. That’s compared to only 27 percent who identified the child as being the one who struggles most.
This isn’t at all surprising according to Michele Levin, a family therapist and co-owner of Blueprint Mental Health. “It’s normal for parents to have a tough time transitioning themselves when their kids begin kindergarten,” she told Healthline. “For a lot of families, this is the first time experiencing losing some control.” While it’s normal for the first day of school to be hard for some parents, Levin says some may need more support than others adjusting to the change. She also points out there are a number of ways parents can manage the stress that can come with the start of a new school year.
Tackle That First Day Like a Champ. When the first day does finally roll around, it’s not uncommon for younger kids to cling and struggle a little. For parents who are already anxious about how their child may handle this transition, they may be tempted to prolong their goodbye. However, both experts Healthline spoke with encourage parents to stick to their planned routine and not linger.
“We tell parents that prolonging that moment of separation doesn’t typically calm a child down. It usually makes things worse,” says American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) spokesperson Dr. Sara Bode, who’s also a primary care pediatrician and medical director of Nationwide Children’s Hospital’s Care Connection School-Based Health and Mobile Services. “In a child that doesn’t have a diagnosed anxiety disorder or some other background that might make this harder, it’s usually best to make sure the child knows what’s coming and to then follow through with it,” she explained.
Rather than linger, Bode suggests parents assure their child that everything is going to be OK and that they’re going to have a great day. Then leave them with their teacher, who’s likely well versed in helping kids adjust. “Most of the time, the teacher will say the child was fine within 10 minutes once the parents left. But for those parents who stay, the anxiety only gets dragged out,” she said.
Levin encourages parents to maintain their composure during that goodbye as well, even though doing so may not be easy. “When a child is either crying or panicking or stating, ‘I’m not going, don’t make me go,’ it naturally triggers a parent’s emotions, and they can easily feel nervous, worried, or frustrated,” she said. In those moments, Levin encourages parents to remember one of her favorite quotes: “Share your calm. Don’t join their chaos…. It’s perfectly OK to drop your child off, smile enthusiastically the whole time, and then go around the corner and cry a little. You just want to try to minimize that sort of reaction in front of your child,” Levin said.
Remind them of the plan, tell them you love them, and trust their teacher to handle the next part. While that may not seem easy, it’s ultimately what’s best for your little one — and you.
Photo Credit: New Africa / Shutterstock.com