| Do you set unrealistic expectations? If so, it might be an unexpected cause of distress and dissatisfaction in your life. According to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Pump Club, recent studies show how countries that consistently rank as the happiest tend to have lower, or at least more accurate, expectations. |
| In a landmark study of happiness published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ), researchers found Danes score exceedingly high on measures of happiness compared to other Western countries, and they speculate this is because they have realistic expectations. “If expectations are unrealistically high, they could be the basis of disappointment and low life satisfaction,” write the authors. |
| In the new book Master of Change, the author Brad Stulberg identifies how setting better expectations that align with the ebb and flow of life can lead to more satisfaction. |
| So much suffering comes at the hands of change because we don’t update our expectations, writes Stulberg. Instead, we delude ourselves, bury our heads in the sand, pretend the change isn’t happening, or try to return to where we were. While all of these strategies may provide short-term relief, they only set us further back in the long term. “That’s because it is only when you see reality accurately and for what it is that you can do something productive about it,” he writes. |
| The next time you find yourself frustrated or unhappy, ask yourself if it’s because you have unrealistic expectations. This doesn’t mean you should set a low bar or stop striving for improvement. Instead, it means that you should be realistic and accept that things don’t always go your way and that change isn’t the exception; it’s the norm. “When change occurs,” Stulberg writes, “the quicker we can recognize it for what it is and update our expectations, the better we do and the better we feel.” |
| If you’re looking to reset your expectations, keep this equation in the back of your mind: Happiness = reality – expectations. |
| Be ambitious, have a big vision, and make sure your expectations are aligned with a reality of possibility. You’ll be more likely to be happy and adapt to life’s ever-changing circumstances. — Photo Credit: Abie Davies / Shutterstock.com |
Setting Realistic Expectations Could Be the Key to Happiness
