A new survey from Kiddie Academy, an educational child care center, found that when all members of the family are polled, 63 percent say it’s Mom who has the hardest time with the first day of school. That’s compared to only 27 percent who identified the child as being the one who struggles most.
This isn’t at all surprising according to Michele Levin, a family therapist and co-owner of Blueprint Mental Health. “It’s normal for parents to have a tough time transitioning themselves when their kids begin kindergarten,” she told Healthline. “For a lot of families, this is the first time experiencing losing some control.” While it’s normal for the first day of school to be hard for some parents, Levin says some may need more support than others adjusting to the change. She also points out there are a number of ways parents can manage the stress that can come with the start of a new school year.
Practice Makes Perfect. American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) spokesperson Dr. Sara Bode, who’s also a primary care pediatrician and medical director of Nationwide Children’s Hospital’s Care Connection School-Based Health and Mobile Services, suggests that moms who may be stressed during the first days of school spend some time thinking about what the root cause of their anxiety is and what they can do to soothe it.
This extends to forming new routines in the days leading up to the beginning of the school year, too. Tasks like getting your kids to wake up earlier, pick out the clothes they want to wear for the day, or eating breakfast at certain times can all help ease the transition when the first day of school arrives. “If you find a way to start those days with your child in the morning with positive actions, that’s also going to lessen your anxiety as you build a routine,” Bode said.
For many parents, a big part of their stress stems from worrying about the experience their children will have when they begin school and the anxiety they may feel in an unfamiliar place. But Levin says it’s important for parents to remember they can’t control that experience for their kids. “You can only control how you respond to it,” she said.
Levin says she wants parents to remember it’s not up to them to take away any potential stressors from their children, or to prevent them from experiencing discomfort. Instead, she says parents should be focused on helping their kids understand how they feel, talk it through, and learn how to cope with whatever’s going on. “Anticipating that and knowing that while it’s really hard, it’s in their best interest to work through this will help parents to better cope as well,” Levin explained. In fact, parents who stress about their child’s anxiety over starting school may be making the experience more difficult for everyone, as kids tend to feed off their parents’ stress.
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