According to ultimateclassicrock.com, Brian Johnson said that he felt “despair” after he was forced to leave AC/DC during their 2016 tour due to hearing problems. He said he couldn’t even watch replacement performances by Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose, he confirmed this in his upcoming memoir, The Lives of Brian. He even went as far as to say that he “wouldn’t have minded” if he died during one of his own motor races at the time. He had received treatment for awhile before being told he had to quit performing or would lose what was left of his hearing. He initially attempted to argue he had contracts to keep singing, but finally came to accept the situation.
Johnson wrote that, “I called Tim, the tour manager, on my mobile right there in the room to tell him that I just couldn’t continue, It was one of the most difficult conversations of my life – the pain of it made worse over the weeks that followed when the tour simply went on without me. It was a sheer cliff. I didn’t tumble down, I was in free fall. Part of the pain of it was that I blamed myself. For most of my career, I’d been in the loudest band in the world. I’d flown constantly. I’d flown even when I knew I wasn’t well, For a while, people would ask me if I was depressed, but depression is treatable. My hearing loss wasn’t. What I was feeling wasn’t depression. It was something closer to despair.”
Rose covered for Johnson for the rest of AC/DC’s Rock or Bust world tour, However, according to Johnson, “I’m told that he did a great job, but I just couldn’t watch – especially when you’ve been doing it for 35 years. It’s like finding a stranger in your house, sitting in your favorite chair. But I bear no grudges. It was a tough situation. [AC/DC co-founder] Angus [Young] and the lads did what they felt they had to do. That said, after the band released a statement confirming that I was leaving the tour and wishing me all the best for the future, I couldn’t relax or concentrate on anything. It was just always there.”
He went on to say that messages from fans helped get him through as he shifted his focus to other things such as racing cars. Writing that, “People would come up to me afterwards and say, ‘Brian, you’re fearless!’ but I wasn’t fearless. I just didn’t fucking care any more. I’d always thought that the best way to go out would be at 180mph, flat-out around a corner. You’d hit the wall and boom, it would be over, just like that. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to die. … I just wouldn’t have minded all that much.”
Johnson went on to say that he met with a technician who created an in ear monitor that addressed his hearing issues saying that, “Whatever magic he used, it worked. I could hear again – even in my deaf ear, meaning I was able to enjoy stereo [again], Suddenly, I felt something that I hadn’t felt in what seemed like an eternity: Hope.”
After the treatments Johnson has once again returned to the studio with AC/DC for their most recent album, Power Up and has also been able to perform on stage again, most recently at the Taylor Hawkins Tribute concert in London. The Loves of Brian is arriving on October 28th.
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